Here’s a reason the concept of confessing your sins exists in nearly every spiritual and philosophical tradition. But it’s one of the most misunderstood ideas in our culture.
Confession isn’t just about seeking forgiveness from a higher power. And it’s certainly not about whispering your wrongdoings to a stranger behind a curtain, hoping that an assigned number of prayers will wipe the slate clean.
True confession—the kind that leads to freedom—is about facing yourself and releasing shame.
Because here’s the truth: You are not what you think you are. You are what you hide.
The Secrets That Keep You Stuck
High performers are wired for excellence. They move fast, solve problems, and get things done. But even the most disciplined and driven people find themselves stuck at times—like they’re operating at 95% instead of 100%.
Why?
Because something small but powerful is holding them back.
For some, it’s an unspoken failure. A business deal that went south. A decision they regret.
For others, it’s a past mistake that doesn’t match the image they present to the world.
Or maybe it’s something they did to someone they love—something that gnaws at them in quiet moments.
The thing about secrets is, we think we’re keeping them, but they’re actually keeping us.
Shame and fear thrive in silence. And as long as we keep our secrets locked inside, they control us.
Why Confession Sets You Free
The recovery community understands this better than most.
Step 5 of Alcoholics Anonymous reads:
“Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”
This step is often one of the most pivotal moments in a person’s healing journey. I have close friends and family in AA, and they’ve told me that as difficult as it is to confess their past—really confess it—it’s the moment everything changes.
The burden lifts. The shame dissolves. The thing they were so afraid to say no longer owns them.
And here’s the kicker: the things they’ve admitted—some of which are dark, painful, and hard to hear—are often far worse than what most of us are hiding.
Yet they get to move forward with freedom.
What’s keeping you from experiencing that same freedom?
You Already Know What You Need to Say
Does this mean you need to dig up every questionable decision from childhood and spill it all? No. That’s not the point.
It’s that one (or maybe two or three) things that just came to mind as you’re reading this. The thing that made your stomach drop. The thing that makes your heart race.
That’s the thing.
That’s the secret that, once spoken to a trusted confidant, will set you free.
Because here’s the truth: when you own your mistakes, no one can hold them over you.
My Own Experience with Confession
A few years ago I truly experienced this.
I was at a women’s retreat—an intimate gathering of just six of us. I only knew two of the women, yet after a few days together, a deep sense of trust had formed.
In a moment of silence, I felt compelled to share something I had carried shame around for years. My heart pounded. My throat tightened. I think I even kept my head down as I started speaking.
But then—something remarkable happened.
Instead of judgment, I was met with love.
Instead of rejection, I was embraced.
Instead of feeling smaller, I felt free.
That moment changed me. Because that secret? It no longer had any power over me.
Did that mean I had to share it with everyone? No. That wasn’t necessary. The simple act of revealing it to a trusted circle was enough to dissolve the shame.
The High Performer’s Dilemma: Why We Struggle to Admit Our Flaws
High performers often have a hard time with confession.
We like to be seen as strong, put-together, and in control. Vulnerability can feel like weakness.
But let me tell you something—hiding is what weakens you.
You can’t be fully present, fully confident, or fully powerful when something unspoken is weighing on you.
Think about it: what if the thing standing between you and your greatest potential isn’t a lack of talent, discipline, or opportunity—but the weight of an unspoken truth?
Because it’s not the mistake itself that holds you back. It’s the shame.
Your Next Step
If something came to mind while reading this, here’s what I want you to do:
1️⃣ Find a trusted confidant. Someone who will listen without judgment. Someone who holds space for honesty.
2️⃣ Speak it out loud. Say the thing. Feel the fear. Then experience the freedom.
3️⃣ Move forward—lighter, clearer, and fully in your power.
Because the moment you confess what you’ve been hiding, you step into a new level of freedom and strength.
And that is where your next level of success begins.
Final Thought
“Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.”
What would your life look like without the weight of shame?
What could you accomplish if you weren’t hiding anything?
The choice is yours.
It’s time to be free.
