For a large part of my adult life, I wore “busy” like a badge of honor. My calendar was full, my commitments stacked, and my identity tied to how much I could accomplish. And I wasn’t alone — most high achievers I know thrive on the adrenaline of being in demand.
But over time, I evolved. I started teaching the difference between a high achiever (busy, reactive, accomplishment-chasing) and a high performer (focused, intentional, vision-driven). That distinction became the foundation of my work — and it’s the heart of my book, The North Star Method.
Because here’s the truth: hustle culture isn’t a flex. It’s a slow leak of your vitality.
In midlife, the cost of “doing it all” is steeper. Recovery slows, clarity fogs, and relationships strain. The body can only take so many late nights, red-eye flights, skipped meals, or back-to-back commitments before it demands a different way.
The Deeper Problem with Hustle Culture
Hustle isn’t just about overworking. It’s about:
- Saying yes when you want to say no.
- Filling your calendar to feel important or needed.
- Equating stillness with laziness.
- Believing rest must be earned.
And over time? This constant pace doesn’t just exhaust your body. It starves your purpose, dulls your creativity, and disconnects you from your own intuition.
What I’ve Learned (The Hard Way)
This year has forced me to face my own relationship with hustle. After decades of building businesses, leading sales teams, and competing as a pro athlete, I finally stepped into a sabbatical year.
And let me tell you — slowing down has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Without the constant buzz of work and output, I had to confront what was underneath: unresolved emotions, triggers, even the places where my worth was tied to achievement.
It’s not always pretty. But it’s real.
The Renovation Reminder
Here’s a real-life example. We bought an older home here in my home state of Delaware, one that I love because of its character and history. But an older house comes with endless projects — things I want to upgrade, renovate, “perfect”.
And my instinct? To do it all at once. To fast-track the process and make everything “finished.”
But that’s just hustle culture wearing a new disguise. The house is teaching me (again) that rushing to “complete” everything only drains my energy and steals the joy of the process.
So instead, I’m learning to breathe. To enjoy certain rooms as they are. To let the house — and my life — settle into its own rhythm instead of me forcing everything into place overnight.
Why This Matters for You
Whether it’s your career, your body, your relationships, or your home — hustle culture creeps in when we think faster is better and “done” means “worthy.”
But the truth is, the life you’re building isn’t meant to be rushed. It’s meant to be lived.
And if you’re always hustling, you’re missing the very thing you’re hustling for: peace, presence, and fulfillment.
Tying Back to What You Told Me
In last month’s survey, you told me loud and clear:
- Mental clarity and mindset
- Purpose and passion in midlife
- Spirituality and personal growth
…these are what matter most to you right now.
Guess what? Hustle culture is the enemy of all three. You can’t think clearly, connect to purpose, or grow spiritually if your nervous system is always in fight-or-flight mode.
The Hustle Detox
So what’s the alternative?
- Say “no” without apology. If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no.
- Schedule recovery like it’s a meeting. Walks, journaling, therapy, stillness.
- Redefine productivity. Some of your best breakthroughs will happen in silence.
Check your patterns. Are you doing this for impact — or for validation?
Hustle isn’t strength. It’s avoidance. The real power is in presence.
The real courage is in slowing down enough to face yourself. And the real freedom? It comes when you realize you don’t have to earn rest.
👉🏼 I go deeper into this shift (from high achiever to high performer) in The North Star Method.
And this week’s newsletter expands on how hustle culture and overcommitment secretly erode our energy — and how to detox from it.
